Are you confused and anxious when it comes to poetry? Do you find yourself lying to family and friends, saying you totally got a poem that in reality you most certainly did not get? Does the idea of going to a poetry reading make you sweat effusively? You may be suffering from dispoetic disorder, a condition I just made up that afflicts hundreds of millions of people across the nation.
Fortunately, there is hope: Albert Goldbarth™, a unique and multiple-award-winning treatment from the University of Wichita, Kansas.
Albert Goldbarth provides fast acting relief from incomprehension, self-doubt, and paranoia. Unlike most contemporary poetry, Albert Goldbarth’s poems do not feature dangerous “self-conscious spareness” or harmful “elevated diction.” Goldbarth’s poems are “wacky,” “talky,” “effusive,” “sprawling,” “gregarious,” and, more than anything, “omnivorous.”
Readers should be aware that Albert Goldbarth is associated with genre-bending,hitching fleas to cosmos-traversing chariots, and transcending mundane reality. Consult your doctor if you find yourself curling inward and then being punctured with genuine, unmasked emotion.
Albert Goldbarth should be taken with a treatment of Christopher Howell and Nance Van Winckel.
A Night of Poetry featuring Christopher Howell, Nance Van Winckel, and Albert Goldbarth
Thursday, April 20 at 7pm
$10/free with student ID
Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St.